she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
