sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
