i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
