Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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