when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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