so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
