I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
As shirtless as possible
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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