she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize
