awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
