and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
