i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
