Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
