But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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