Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Acid is not a monday night drug
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
