11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize