k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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