I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
