On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
