all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
