just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't deserve a penis
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Randomize
