i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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