you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
