good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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