i just had sex bonerless
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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