and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
