no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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