David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize