is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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