as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize