I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
