Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So vagazzling was a success
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
