me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
