i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
