just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
how drunk are you?
Several
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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