My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she woke up with a sticky ear
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
