This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
