Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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