You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
