Buhtt sex?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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