wanna go halves on a baby?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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