ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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