I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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