Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
