one two three fourrrrnication!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
