I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think a kid would responsible me up
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We don't watch enough power rangers
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize