Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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