omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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