She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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