Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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