woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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