she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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