For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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