My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
even my farts smell like vagina
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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