Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
