i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I wish I only lived at night.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
