Screwed.edu
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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