me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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