he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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