you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
