let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
