I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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