Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
