i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
