someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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