yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
